


He didn't know

by LaysandRitts



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Death, Depression, Occlumency (Harry Potter), mind
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-17
Updated: 2021-02-17
Packaged: 2021-03-13 01:40:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 562
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29518905
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LaysandRitts/pseuds/LaysandRitts
Summary: A little look in Severus Snape's mind
Comments: 2
Kudos: 1





	He didn't know

**Author's Note:**

> This is my very first fanfic.  
> Hope you like it.  
> The character from this story it's property of J.K Rowling and her beautiful book series Harry Potter.  
> English is not my first language, so if you have corrections to made, please tell me.

it's 7 a.m but he's been up before the sun could even think about appearing through the horizon. The dungeons are cold, his quarter is like him, lonely. This is, for Severus, irrelevant. His mind it's in other things, many others. Like the precise moment for turn the potion 2 times for exactly three seconds, change the sens of rotation and then wait ten minutes more while cutting the rat kidney in 0.098 inches each piece. The potions are, indeed, a very meticulous subject. You need to be perfect in the quantities of every component, not lose the timing and of course know when is the moment for one or multiples of this components to be part of the different reactions they could be part on and give birth. All this, for one final result. It could be appreciated, wanted or feared until death. Depending on the effect in question and the purpose applied. 

Severus sometimes felt like if his live was (at least for some couple of years) a potion in making process, "in any case, spying it is like that". He thought. It's been 17 years since her dead and he consumed his energies to make every move as perfect as possible. Hiding his deeps thoughts or lying to himself in the urge of been convincing while the Dark Lord tries to penetrate his mind and keep his act solid. But he has a problem, not one that affect the potion or at least the results his searching. No, no, this one's direct for himself and only him. He's unbalanced. From the outside it doesn't look like if this proposition it's true, but from the inside. Oh in the very inside, very deep and far far away from the Occlumency's shield. He is, in fact, scare of it but also in a uncommon way he feels like in order to stay Severus Snape from the bottom of his core he needs it, even when it's just a second. Because, this single second comes rich of full internal experiences; Tsunamis of sadness; earthquakes of anger; maddening tornadoes. Every possible emotional and natural disaster that belongs from beyond his consciousness. 

It only manifested when his shields where low, usually he was able to dissociated this strong feelings, tear them apart but just in the surface. In the inner side of his mind they where concentrated as the atoms from the universe most primary state. Anytime, they could explode. He believed it was necessary too. For the moment (if it came early), to accept death. Appreciated her. Give her all his reasons to make sens of her arrival.

She comes no longer that what he expected. He can feel in short time how all his walls are falling. It's happening, the bomb it's exploding. Thankfully Potter came and got what he needed to finish, or try to finish, this hideous war. With the unknown gift of does green eyes. They aloud him to grit the Death with warm hands indeed.

He didn't know at the moment they where the key to understand how to emancipated all this emotional disasters. All he had needed was aloud to himself the natural and innocent form of love. As a child he certainly did grab a bit, but it wasn't enough to fully understand it. Now, from other land, a peaceful one, he knows.

_End._

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you very much for reading. :) Have a nice day or night!


End file.
